Tuesday, September 9, 2008

There and here, lost and found

Two places I love with a passion with the knowledge that one day I will be torn between the two and having to decide on one forever.

I have a profound and acute sense of loss today, of time passed and childhood on the brink of ending, of the feelings of such deep love that it makes your heart ache and your head explode and tears flow so freely.

Of friendships and friends that are no longer alive. Good friends whom I miss so much. and should never have died so young. Theres so many things I want to share with them now and thank them for, because I'd have been in a very different place if it wasn't for them.

I'm not sad, I just ache.

Sometimes its good to cry.


  1. ah, one of *those* days, when the acute sense of loss and beauty settle in like a thick fog, or else whirl into the house like a tornado, tossing us all about. they are rough and hard and beautiful all at once -- a kind of grace, really -- and all you (or i) can do is let it happen. it sounds to me like you are doing precisely that.
    i had one of these days yesterday and today i feel as if i've been thrown about, but there is a certain clarity to the air now -- i swear, i can smell it! -- it's the calm that comes *after* the storm. it's grace.
    i think i understand it all a bit more now after reading what you've written here. and those photographs! beautiful.
    love to you, sweets.

  2. These two together capture everything in the comment above and move it to a higher plane. It is exquisite.